Independence

Leaving Los Angeles was probably the most independent thing I had done in my adult life. But I can't state that I was truly independent and on my own since I moved in with my sister in San Jose. This summer will be the last time I will have people to regularly talk with. This will be my last month where I will enjoy having the luxury of living with people.

Yesterday, I received a call stating that my rental application was accepted, and that I finally had a place to call "home" for the upcoming school year. In addition to that, I accepted the position of Urban Forestry Specialist with Our City Forest, a non-profit AmeriCorps group that is dedicated to planting trees and educating people on the benefits and maintenance of trees. My best friend says I'm a hippie, but really I am not. I love the environment, but I also care a lot about social equity, which is seemingly left out of the equation of "quality of life" in planning.

Anyway, my new apartment will be in Japantown, in San Jose. It's only a half of a mile walk to my work place with AmeriCorps, and a mile from school. I will end up biking to school since my classes are late, but it's pretty exciting I guess. It is a little daunting to be living on my own, especially since I'm female. Hoepfully I will be okay. You are all welcome to stay with me, but I can't guarantee you that my schedule won't be crazy :)

Policies

Last week in class my professor made a remark about how cynical I was towards to planning profession, and towards the public democratic process as well. It is hard not to be cynical after working the in the public sector. I have never been one for idealism. At least, not in terms of policies and planning. I don't even think I was idealistic coming into the profession that I may or may not end up in.

I lost faith in our government years ago. As much as I am happy to see Obama in office, I always have to check myself that not all the policies, regulations, and recommendations come from one singular person in office. The staff that surround said politician do a lot of the research work.

But part of the blame also falls on our shoulders. People shouldn't complain if they didn't vote. People shouldn't complain if taxes are increased and they voted yes to many of the propositions that are backed by future tax-payer money. Sometimes we don't hold ourselves accountable for these projects.

There was this NPR article on homelessness in downtown Los Angeles, dubbed Skid Row. Good or bad, I don't think the answer is to arrest and fine a homeless person because, well, how are they supposed to pay the fine when they are homeless? I don't have a solution to the answer, because frankly, I don't really see one. I do think it is a drain on the system for arresting a homeless person, fining them, and throwing them in jail because it seems to turn into a repetitive cycle. Either way, I'm just apathetic towards everything these days.

I view politicians as though they are actors, because, really, what else are they? We know that deals are negotiated every day "for the public's best interest." Once you are exposured to the bureacratic process, you become numb to the idea of efficiency, and to the idea of serving the people. Or maybe it is just me. But the truth is, action is a deal made by the process of give and take. No one is every really happy. We just settle for results that aren't truly understood.

Saying goodbye when saying hello

About two weeks ago my laptop starting to shutdown randomly by itself, and this was all happening while I was talking on the phone with my best friend. Initially, it seemed like there was something loose and that my laptop could be easily fixed. Anyway, upon further inspection from Ray, it was discovered that the part of my laptop that was loose was actually damaged. At some point and time in the past 4.5 years I had my IBM Thinkpad, I dropped it and caused it to crack. Most presumably it was recent, but alas, my laptop has expired. Sadly, my Thinkpad has now joined the graveyard of all the other Thinkpads in this household. And by all I mean three, which is more than most people have. All together, there are three functional laptops, and three dead ones, making a total of six. Don't ask.

So, after much thought and consideration, I decided to go with a Dell Inspiron 1500 series. It's a little lighter than my Thinkpad, and a definite upgrade. It's all black, so it looks sleek and sexy, with a 15.4 inch WLED screen. I'm still getting used to using this keyboard because more often than not, I accidentally hot key a bajillion things and I don't have the foggiest idea on how I do it.

My new laptop also arrived during the beginning of my spring break and at the beginning of March Madness. When school resumes, I can finally bring my laptop to class. Yes folks, it seems that while I am in grad school, the laptop is the preferred choice of equipment to bring with you. I do not know why, but I am simply following the herd now.

Also, I leave for New Mexico at the end of this week, visiting my old college roomate Makah and her fiancee. Rather exciting. Patrick and I got them some board games, which I know they will like. I'm still trying to figure out what else to get them as a housewarming gift. Do you guys have any suggestions? I'd truly appreciate any suggestions right now :)

As for work, I am still enjoying it, even though I feel completely inept at times. I'm getting the hang of using Microsoft Access, Excel dbf files, and ArcGIS. Slowly, but surely. Everyone is still cheery, friendly, and nice so no complaints on my end here. Supervisor is still helpful and patient with me.

And a random side note/thoughts. I've realized that, over the years, a majority of the people I dated - no matter how brief - have been Catholic. They weren't very religious, but none-the-less I think they were all baptized. The run down is: B, Catholic; M, Catholic; D, Catholic; and Patrick, Catholic. I know, don't ask me why, but I guess I'm attracted to people who are baptized Catholic but are definitely not religious. Patrick is technically Catholic, and he's the closest person to me in my life. Then there's my bestfriend, who happens to be a lapsed Catholic as well. Second closest. Again, I don't know what this means.

There's my update. Hope everyone has had a great spring break, or is currently enjoying their time off like I am.

Classes

Last semester was really uninspiring for me. I disliked all my classes not because the professors were bad, but because they were not very interesting, or engaging for that matter. Maybe I have too high of an expectation for certain subject matters, but I doubt it. Statistical methods just does not stimulate me in any way. At least this semester I can look forward to one of my classes, which keeps me a little more sane now that I'm juggling full time enrollment and two internships.

My Environmental Justice course is great because it's different from the rest of the classes here, mostly due in part to the fact that it is mostly lecture based, with an academic flair. I'm sure you are wondering why I would enjoy a class like this that is not really preparing me for the mundane daily work routine. Well, to be honest, I came to the conclusion last semester that I enjoy being involved with people and their issues. Even though my internship with the County of Alameda doesn't have me work with people in the area on a regular basis, I focus on social issues that impact the community at large. That's better than sitting at a desk all day analyzing staff reports and grant proposals, or coordinating graphics and board meetings. If I can focus on social issues affecting a community, then by golly, I'm content. Anyway, the discipline of planning has always taken a fairly straight-edge approach to dealing with issues in a city, but rarely did this discipline actually focus on the needs and wants of people, and the impacts project developments have on their lives. It was not until recently that the idea and concept of incorporating people into the development projects started occurring.

Envrionmental Justice is similar to Social Justice, except that in the case of Environmental Justice, there is the intention of locating harmful/hazardous projects next to a minority community. And through my internship, we focus on the issue of equity, and equitable distribution of services. It ties up rather nicely, relating to issues of access to fresh produce, walkability in the community, services like medical clinics, and location of schools. Access to transportation. Things like that.

Anyway, I love my class this semester. I think I found my niche after all these years of searching. I've known now for the longest time that I wanted to be involved with people, and the environment, I just didn't know what. I have also known that working for a non-profit group would probably make me jump for joy, and my professor has already indicated that if I ever want to be in contact with someone from Communities for a Better Environment, he could help me out. I do, and in fact, I want to intern with this group. And my supervisor at my internship also indicated that he could help me out as well.

Anyway, that's about it for now. I also wanted to mention that my supervisor at the Public Health Department is super nice and great to work with. Unlike my old position down in Los Angeles, I have a boss that is willing to help me out. On Friday, I was floored because he asked me if I wanted to meet with some Oakland city planners, and if so, he could arrange for a meeting this week. What a fantastic, nice, wonderful person! My problem is that I do not reach out for help or networking because I'm so intimidated by the business world. Oh well, this is a great journey for me.

By the way, the cities of Long Beach and Oakland, according to Wikipedia (har har, such a reliable source) are the most diverse cities in the United States. Crazy, huh?

Internship

My internship with the Alameda County Public Health Department is much more rewarding that what I expected it to be. First, I get to learn a new skill: GIS. I'm going to be geocoding population data (currently working with Social Services) and mapping out information. Second, I get to wrangle information out of people in regard new streets, or other information that the agency can get its hands on. Third, I'm learning a lot of technical skills (which is a little boring), but still important on my resume.

The downside, of course, is that I am unpaid. Despite making zero dollars, I look forward to getting to work and collaborating with my supervisor and other members in the division I'm in. Everyone is super friendly and nice. And, get this, I ENJOYED the staff meeting I attended today. Yes. Unlike my last job, I don't dread waking up wondering WHY I AM HERE.

Another downside is that I have to commute. I drive to the Fremont BART station, which takes about 20 minutes, and then I ride BART into Oakland, which takes about 40 minutes. Even though it takes an hour out of my day, I have the option of reading some stuff for my class. At least I'm not wasting my time sitting in the car.

I really like what the Public Health department does here, or at least the analytical and evaluating part.

Keeping busy

So, February 20th marks the end of my fourth week back in school. Some of you may be giving me dirty looks behind the computer screen, but I say, YOU ARE GOING TO BE DONE WITH SCHOOL IN LESS THAN THREE MONTHS. I still have over a year to go, unfortunately.

Last semester I was absolutely lazy: no job, classes Monday - Thursday, for only three hours at a time. I tend to have this problem where I do absolutely nothing, but then a few months later, I decide to maximize my time to the point where it's almost ridiculous.

This semester I am enjoying my classes a little more. I still haven't officially decided whether or not I would want to stay here in San Jose, but it's looking like I will more and more each day. And I'm busy. I have two internships: one with the County of Santa Clara researching Historic Preservation incentives, and the other with the Alameda County Public Health Department geocoding population data by Census block tract. Kind of tedious. Oh well. I am interning Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, but the majority of my time will be spent commuting to Oakland. And I finally got health insurance, which may give me the opportunity to finally volunteer for Habitat for Humanity again!

And by the way, I like Oakland. If I had to live in the Bay Area, it'd be in Oakland. Of course, I feel guilty by living there because I would be contributing to the gentrification of the area, or at least, part of the Oakland area. The Oakland Hills have always been a nice place.

Conscious efforts

Initially, when I first started college, I had this vague notion about grades and their purpose in my life. Of course, now that I am older, I realize how important a single letter can be. That letter can decide whether or not you will be accepted to schools, whether or not you will need to take the GRE's, and whether or not you receive accolades and rewards.

I am no such person. I hate grades, especially when I am feeling rather apathetic about my education. This tends to occur in life cycles for me. Perhaps at a certain point I will feel that need to push myself harder, trying to obtain those ever-so-hard-to reach A's. Then I think to myself, are grades the most important thing to me? If not, then what is?

So I sat and thought about this a lot. I thought about the pressure of trying to be perfect, about trying to improve myself. A lot of effort goes into restraining myself from being a smart ass in class. But I figured, no, grades are not the most important part of life. They may be to the university and in the pursuit of an even higher educational goal, but I figure, if I can display what I learned effectively, doesn't that reflect my intelligence more so?

Now let's be honest here, I am not what you consider a humble person. I like to mumble to myself in class when I'm bored, or if I am learning about the Renaissance for the seventh time! Not to mention that the profession/planner is some sort of wannabe yuppie hipster that I want to just smack. All right, so I vented a little bit... and digressed...

When I am not challenged in the academic setting I begin to lose interest in the subject rapidly. So far, since returning to school, I have actually kept up with the reading assignments. Okay, for the most part I have kept up with the reading assignments. Those are fine, but the lectures can be terrible boring or horribly organized. That's why I lose interest. Challenge me, make me sweat and be afraid of the course. If not, at least make it somewhat interesting.

So now, after the third week of school, I have already begun to wonder if I was ever enthusiastic about graduate school. No, I miss academia. At the same time, I can't spend or afford to spend the rest of my life as a student. Perhaps I missed a path years ago due to the lack of confidence i had in myself, in my writing abilities, and my methods of research. Then again, San Jose State isn't a true academic setting, at least, not in the theoretical terms. Honestly, I am beginning to wonder if I will ever find my nitch in life.

Wasn't I supposed to know what I wanted five years ago?

Passing Time

There has not been a whole lot going on since I last updated. I have a few posts backlogged that I keep meaning to finish but I will most likely not, at least not for a while. My last day of work is this Friday and my coworker intends on having a group lunch for me on Thursday. It is very nice and thoughtful, but I would much rather prefer slipping away and being forgotten. I have never been one for a lot of celebration, and I tend to avoid most social functions related to outside of work. If I do go to these functions, I do not stay for very long. I do not know why I do that. For the time being I am trying to finish up a few last things here and clear off my desk. It will probably take me until Friday, but the task should be done with relative ease.

Patrick and I actually went to see a movie over the weekend, The Dark Knight. I have to say that I was fairly impressed with Christopher Nolan's portrayal of Batman. The length of the movie was 2 hours and 32 minutes, and I never once got bored with it while sitting in the theater. That means I actually liked it kids, but this does not imply that I felt the film was flawless. There were minor issues I had with it. Please note that if you have not seen the movie, you should stop here NOW.

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SPOILER ALERT

Heath's performance as the Joker was great, and I think this is perhaps one of the best jobs anyone has done with the darker version of this character. That being said, I do not believe Heath Ledger deserve and Oscar nomination. Throughout the previews and the constant advertisement campaign for The Dark Knight I was led to believe that the Joker would be in the movie with a fairly in depth character. This is not true. The Joker is in the movie, but lacks depth. Maybe Nolan wanted to explore the history of the Joker more in the second movie since he is only captured in the end saying to Batman that "You complete me." We will never know now that Heath Ledger is gone. There are various questions that needed to be answered such as, how does he create that much fear and accomplish so much with his reckless tendency? How can he not have a past, at all? And how is he able to plot and have such massive destruction accomplished in such a short period of time. According to the film, Joker attracts those with "mental illnesses." That's an O.K. explanation, but it still doesn't really explain how he can plot so thoroughly with so much complexity in such a short period of time, and how the Joker can so easily persuade people who do NOT have mental illnesses. Now again, I am not saying that Heath's performance wasn't great, it was, but because I felt his character was not the most integral and there being a lack of depth to the Joker an Oscar nomination is just not in the playing field.

The other issue, which is minor, that I had with the movie was Rachael Dawes. She gets killed off and as soon as her character dies, Rachael is literally banished into the black hole. Her importance is diminished completely. There isn't a scene showing her funeral, even though both Bruce and Harvey were vying for her love. I thought it was odd, and I knew Nolan had to get rid Rachael somehow since she wasn't in the comics. Ah well.

Harvey Dent, aka Two Face was a pretty damn good character. I really enjoyed watching the development of Harvey Dent. Aaron Eckhart did a great job playing Dent/Two Face, and brought an interesting aspect to the movie. I also enjoyed how Nolan tried to keep why Dent went psycho in the first place.

And just to let you know, Gary Oldman can do no wrong.

Aside from that, I felt that the darkly done theme was a terrific fit for the Batman series. I almost love it as much as the cartoon series that Fox used to air back in the 1990's. Yes, childhood memories of coming back home from school and watching that cartoon. Now I am interested in seeing who the next villains will be in the following film. Will Two Face re-appear, or will the Riddler be next? Personally, if Nolan is going for the more disturbed crazy (regular so to speak) villains I really hope to see the Ventriloquist in there. He's creepy, and psycho.

The Return

Despite all the complaints I had about my job, I realized that I actually grew from my experience here. For the life of me I never felt compelled to work in the public sector, yet here I am, working for "The Man" doing a public service by providing communities the opportunity to enjoy parkland space, whether it was a traditional recreational facility or open space for hiking, horseback riding or trail riding.

It hasn't quite sunken in that I will be returning to school for my Master's. My Master's... I never would have thought that I would actually be obtaining (or at least trying to) that degree. Most of my friends are already in graduate school, doing either research or in a professional setting. A great majority of my friends are in the Health Sciences field (off the top of my head J, D, P, K and K). There are a few law students here and there... but again, many of the people I keep in contact with are furthering their educational career.

I'm a bit apprehensive about returning to school as I have not written any sort of paper in depth or at a great length in a long time. Nor have I researched a topic of interest. The last academic book I read was about Los Angeles and planning. Hopefully this won't be too much of a problem, but again, I am a little apprehensive and scared. And yes, I will have to submit a thesis, defending my dissertation. There have been a few topics I have been toying with, such as urban revival and gentrification. In there comes the biggest issue we still continue to face today: affordable housing for the working class people. Who knows what I end up doing. Let's hope I know soon so I can finish the program in two years.

Florida and Utah

Getting to my destination is never the problem, it's returning home that is.

Anyway, I had a fantastic time in Florida and camping in southern Utah. Apparently I missed the week long heat-wave in Los Angeles while I was out looking like a deranged woman while I was camping in the Colorado plateau.

Will post photos later on this evening when I return home.
And for those of you who read my blog, I was recently accepted into San Jose State's Master's in Urban Planning program. That's right, I will be returning to school, leaving behind my job. All I have to do now is put in my notice. I'll do that when my supervisor is actually at work.