Mid-West

"But as a gay man, I can’t marry in “liberal” New York, where I’m a resident, or in “liberal” California, where I was born, and very soon I will have that right in “conservative” Iowa."

When I was younger, I would always confuse the states of Iowa and Ohio for some reason. I never could remember where each one was located, and I typically got them confused on the US map. Anyway, over the years I learned about Ohio's importance in my history classes, while poor Iowa was cast aside as a state filled with farmers and cornfields. Des Moines is its capital, and Iowa is probably one of the largest suppliers to ethanol companies. I remember in seventh grade that this one girl, Ann, who was Vietnamese, lived in Iowa, and loved that state. I don't know if she was actually born there, but was fond of it.

The eight grade honors American History teacher would make fun of Iowa and its cornfields. Of course, Ann was upset, and talked back to him.

Last week, the state of Iowa settled in court, with a unanimous decision, that gay marriages would be legal. And I thought to myself, the state of Iowa, really? In the midwest? Heart of conservatism? Of course, that is the perception that many of us have of Iowa, that it's a state filled with agriculture, and religious white folk who are conservative.

Most of us don't even know what states constitute the mid-west region in America.

Of course, Patrick wasn't surprised that Iowa's courts decided that gay marriages were to be legal. According to him, "Iowa and Minnesota are two of the most progressive states in the mid-west." Really? Really?! My coworker still believes that, even though Iowa may go Democrat, it doesn't mean they're necessarily liberal. If not liberal, then at least the state of Iowa recognizes that marriage should be afforded to any couple that truly loves one another, regardless of race or creed.

And what saddens me the most, is that, no matter how much we claim we are liberal, or progressive in New York and California, Iowa's courts decided it was a constitutional right for gays, lesbians, transgenders and bisexuals to marry.

This article in the New York Times describes how Iowa allowed for biracial marriages before the United States Supreme Court decided it was a civil right's violation to not allow people from different racial backgrounds to marry, and how Iowa is the fourth state to recognize gay marriage. After all, who would of thought that America's heartland would be that progressive?

Adulthood

Patrick and I have been dating for five years, which to some people is a long time. I agree, it is, and I am fine with the long term dating. We're only 25 and 26, respectively, and have other things to finish before we actually get married.

The other day I posted that both of us went into Tiffany's to look at rings. This was due in part that first, Patrick wanted to get a general idea of what ring types I liked. Unfortunately, Tiffany's had the worst selection of rings possible, and this comment goes beyond the engagement ring selection. Second, I have no idea what my ring size is. Being the type of girl I am (simple and unadorned), I figured why not go out and try on some rings. You know, if I can't even find a cute ring to try on, then why bother?

I told a few friends that we both went out looking at rings, and some got excited, others, ahem, were like, how could you just write this all nonchalantly. Honestly, when I think about when I want to get married, how I want the wedding to go down and so on and so forth, the more I seem to gravitate towards a civil ceremony. First, both of us lack the income. Second, we were never into really flashy things. I can't imagine trying to plan a wedding in a year. Like, if I were to get engaged this year, 2010 would actually be the best time for me to get married. More specifically, after both of us (hopefully) finish by early June of 2010 with our studies. That means I will have to be writing my thesis without being distracted with wedding plans and other related pre-marital events. Are you kidding me?

The problem is that Patrick will be applying for his residency later this year. I'm hoping to stay out west, but I always said that wherever Patrick ends up going, I'm following him. I know he won't have a lot of time off during his years in his residency program, so that means that if we got married that period, we would have a delayed honeymoon.

I know some of you are wondering why I'm talking about getting married as if it is a sure thing. Well, we both have been talking about it and we do want to get married to each other. It is just a matter of timing at this point.

I'm still debating whether I want to have kids or not. Oh well, one step at a time!